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On a membership survey, how many people rate the offerings of your association a five out of five? Bob Stearns, the presenter of today's session "Refresh, Renew, and Ignite Association Member Loyalty," says those fives are your loyal customers, or "top box" members. And of course, we all want to have a membership created of fives.

Stearns says there are a few ways to engage your members to increase top-box members, and one of the key ways is simply to ask current and former members, "What could we be doing to better serve you?" But as one audience member pointed out, it can be tough to get responses from people who may have already left your association, and they can often pinpoint the weaknesses you need to know about.

Just like your mother always said, honesty is the best policy, and Stearns says you must be honest in your interaction with members when asking what your organization could be doing better. You have to be ready to prove that you will do something with the information that they provide and even be willing to report back on the changes you implemented because of their feedback.

I can't help but wonder, though, if it's really as simple or even worthwhile as it sounds. The question-raiser in the session pointed out that, after a poor dining experience, she's not necessarily going to give detailed feedback when the server asks if everything was OK. I can say the same for myself, no matter how sincere a server or manager may seem. Maybe it was such a terrible experience, the diners want to get out and never look back. Or maybe it's just not worth the effort to the customer to explain what went wrong. And the same can probably be said for a few members who don't renew.

But, going back to a point that Guy Kawasaki made in today's opening session, sometimes you need to focus on the people who are buying your product, even if it's not your originally-intended audience ... and even if you want to know why that originally-intended audience doesn't want your product. Instead, as Stearns mentioned, it's worth your time to figure out why some people are rating your organization a five, and those fivers will likely respond to you. Find out what you've provided to them to make such a worthwhile experience, and instead of focusing on the lost ones, figure out how you can make the fours become fives, and on down the ladder.

It sounds counterproductive to give up on those that gave up on you when you're in search of improving your offerings. But it seems to me that sometimes you just have to let go.