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I am the assistant coach of my son’s 3rd grade basketball team. We are very lucky as we have a good group of boys that take the game seriously. As coaches we try to make sure they have fun, learn and follow the rules while doing so. We hold the boys to a very high standard and have a lot of passion for the game of basketball, the team and working with the boys as individuals.

Recently my passion showed when we were in a tight game and the refs were not exactly calling a good game. I questioned a call from one of the officials and instead of using my passion to their advantage the scorekeeper got an attitude, got up in my face, told me how wrong I was for questioning a call, told me how that the kids were only in 3rd grade so it really doesn’t matter, etc, etc. Instead of telling me calmly how he understood that I had a certain level of passion for the game and expectations for everyone involved and talking to me about ways to use that passion to help everyone involved he confronted an already frustrated and passionate individual and made things worse.

This situation got me thinking—do we, as association professionals, do this to our most passionate members? Do our attitudes and frustrations and processes cause us to want to shut people down because what they are expressing is not exactly what we want to hear or see? Or do we turn things around and use our members’ passion to our advantage?

What would have happened if the scorekeeper had told me that he understood why I was frustrated and suggested that I calmly talk to the refs during a timeout or after the game? What if he calmly told me that if I wanted to address the rules and the referees I could volunteer to serve as a member of some committee that plays that role? Wouldn’t that have been a better use of his energy and lead to better things for me, him and the organization as a whole?

I realize that we all have emotions and some times we do get carried away. Shouldn’t we as association professionals who ultimately succeed or fail based on the way we serve and treat members understand that we do have lots of passionate members that need us to help them focus that passion in a positive way? Are we doing that? Based on my experiences with some organizations and when I was working at an association myself, I am not really sure.