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Top Ten Ways You Know You're Flying Too Much...

Over the last six weeks or so, my life has felt like one continuous plane ride. I've spent many, many hours in the air during this period, and I've tried to put that time to good use by coming up with this list for your amusement. Just consider it a public service I'm performing on behalf of all the weary travelers in the association world. It's a great opportunity for us to laugh at the ridiculous things that too much flying can do to otherwise normal human beings. (No cracks from the peanut gallery please...)

So, without further delay, the Top Ten Ways You Know You're Flying Too Much!

10. You preset a song on your iPod to help speed up your walk from the gate to baggage claim. ("Limelight" by Rush is my song of choice.)

9. When inexperienced travelers slow down your security lane, you look knowingly at other passengers, roll your eyes, shake your head and say with disdain, "Rookies." They nod back at you in agreement. (I've never done that...;>)

8. You spend an hour (or more) calculating whether you'll need to book a "mileage run" to reach the next level of status in your airline's frequent flier program before the end of the year. (I'm okay.)

7. You recognize flight attendants you've flown with before.

6. They recognize you.

5. You treat your noise canceling headphones with the gentleness of a beloved pet.

4. A fellow passenger asks if you're a pilot because you use "aviation language."

3. You consider overweight bag charges to be just another opportunity to earn miles on your frequent flier program credit card.

2. You're exasperated that your airline didn't ask for your input before changing its soft drink supplier!

and the number one way you know you're flying too much....

1. You begin to spell your name using the NATO phonetic alphabet:

De Cagna is Delta Echo (Sierra for the space) capital Charlie Alpha Golf November Alpha

I haven't quite reached #1 just yet, but with another trip next week, I expect I'll be there soon. Do you have some more fun ways to know you're flying too much to add to the list? Please do so as a comment below!

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Comments

Great list, Jeff. My favorite one from a recent experience (funny and not so funny at the same time), "When you are the one explaining to the airline representative that with everything that can (and often will) go wrong to delay a connection these days, the 'legal' connection time they suggest to catch an international flight is not really enough time."

How about when you actually look forward to a long time between flights because your connecting airport has a new art installation you want to check out? Or when you know where all the WiFi hot spots are in most major U.S. airports?

I could go on and on, and I haven't even been flying much lately!

When you plan your meals based on knowing what options are near the gate you are leaving from.

Since my wife flies more than me (we're Silver equivalent on different airlines) this applies to each of us:

1. When you spouse flies in coach because you've been upgraded;

2. When you're "gold" status with the off-airport parking companies;

3. When the Bose store replaces your headphones because of excessive wear and tear;

4. When you know that when you're pre-boarded and there is a seat belt extender in the seat next to yours, this will NOT be a good ride;

5. You can do two weeks in Italy (we did) with carry-ons;

6. You look approvingly at another road warrior exec who wears the same sport coat with different pant and shirt combinations;

7. Most of the weekend vacations with your spouse are taken at the fantastic location where one of you is working;

8. You really do hate to buy that latest light carry-on because you're sentimental about giving up "your old friend."

here’s my input…

10. you get bored with soduku puzzles because they're too easy

9. you know where all the electric outlets are in the airport, so you can do some last minute work while you wait to board the plane

8. you plan your wardrobe for the security check to make sure there is no metal on your person (including the underwire in your bra)

7. the cashier at the smoothie joint in the airport asks if it will be “your usual”

6. you are an expert at packing for a week in one carry-on, which includes your laptop because it’s an international flight

5. you keep your ziplock baggie prepacked at all times

4. your boyfriend is someone you met on a plane

3. you know the taxi dispatcher by name

2. you start relying on your cell phone knowing which time zone you’re in before you do

1. you realize that the seats in the lavatory are more comfortable than your assigned seat in coach

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