Anti-mentors
The March 2007 Harvard Business Review has an interview with Howard Gardner, author of the forthcoming book Five Minds for the Future. I was drawn to the article because Associations Now is also publishing an interview with Dr. Gardner this month, and I was curious to compare and contrast the two articles. (If you have any interest in leadership, I’d recommend reading both—Gardner gets at very different points in the two articles.)
In the HBR piece, Gardner discusses the importance of mentoring in helping younger workers develop a strong sense of the ethics of their chosen fields. He notes that, in speaking with young professionals, “The influence of anti-mentors—potential role models who had been unkind to their employees or who had shown behavior that others would not want to emulate—and a lack of mentors is something that we underestimated in our studies. Negative role models may be more powerful than is usually acknowledged.”
This struck a chord with me, and as I consider the idea, I’m surprised to realize how much of my personal management style has been shaped not by the good examples but by the bad ones. Many things I strive to do as a manager—like moving heaven and earth to do a review on time, or providing constructive feedback immediately when needed (in a private setting) instead of letting issues fester, to give just two examples—came about because I’ve seen the atmosphere that can be created when these basic things don’t happen.
What lessons can you thank your anti-mentors for?
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Comments
This got me thinking--and I too have been at least equally shaped by bad examples as good ones. Lessons I can thank anti-mentors for include:
Don't expect others to be able to read your mind. Be clear about what you want.
Let people do their jobs. Micromanagement is incredibly demoralizing.
Never badmouth an employee to his/her peers.
Focus on having people do more of what they do best, rather than try to change what they're weakest at.
There are so many more...
Posted by: sue pelletier | February 26, 2007 5:43 PM
I find this to be a very powerful idea, and I agree with Lisa that our management habits are often shaped by our bad examples, rather than our good ones. I like the term "anti-mentor", though perhaps "office nemesis" is a little more satisfying. From my anti-mentors, now I know not to
* finish an annual review in less than five minutes
* send out a sweeping new policy change via e-mail with a "please read attached for details" note
* tell a female co-worker she needs to dress "less like a man"
* hold a standing meeting (no space for chairs) for 80 people for an hour and a half
And the list goes on...
More seriously (though all of the above are, unfortunately, true) I've learned that a complex idea has to be communicated multiple times, in different ways. We always assume people understand more than they really do. This basic lesson has really underscored my management style.
Posted by: Peter Sursi | February 27, 2007 9:24 AM
Selfishness and indifference to others' realities were two hallmarks of "bad example" mentors.
Posted by: Jeffrey Cufaude | February 27, 2007 2:24 PM
There is a motivational speaker who opened with this message at a GSAE Annual Meeting several years ago. Everyone was asked to write down just two things your worst manager did. Then we were to share those with our neighbor. This was loud and boisterous with lots of laughter and sharing.
I found such distaste for the methods of my anti-mentors more of a guiding set of standards than my good mentors.
The follow-up was to identify our positive mentors and what of theirs we take with us. This was a quiet more introspective activity.
It has stuck with me for years though. And shaped how I approach things in my management stylings.
Posted by: Samantha Spears, CAE | March 9, 2007 4:34 PM