Acronym

As a guitarist, I hate feedback (unless I cause it intentionally). From a musical perspective, it's my F word. To a musician, the word feedback defines that eardrum-stabbing, high-pitched noise you hear when sound waves get caught in an infinite loop in an amplification system.

To a leader, though, feedback is something different. It's otherwise known as constructive criticism.

One of the things I’m focused on professionally is how I receive feedback from my teammates and members. These days, I’m usually playing the part of the compliant conceder. That’s because I’m over-compensating for my former part, the defensive defiant. I used to get really defensive in the face of feedback (sometimes I still do). Nowadays, for the most part, I am simply accepting feedback, and not challenging the other person as much as I should for more information, details, etc.

Finding the middle ground on receiving feedback in the right way is difficult. On one hand, you don’t want to even give the impression that you’re denying the other person’s experience. Facial expressions and body language are key. No grimacing or crossing the arms. Acknowledging and reflecting the other person’s feelings, as well as asking for suggestions on how they wish you had done things differently is key. Finally, asking them to give you more feedback in the future is important, too.

On the other hand, feedback from an individual is useful for future interactions with that individual, but not necessarily for everyone you work with. So you don’t want to go off and change your ways for everyone based on feedback from one person.

My experience at the Banff Centre and also in some coaching sessions has taught me put more stock in a pattern of similar feedback data points than a single feedback data point. So, if I see a pattern in the feedback I’m getting, I’ll typically take special note of it and try to change something about myself, which hopefully will be for the benefit of everyone. But if one person gives me feedback about something, and I’ve never heard it before, I’ll usually adjust my approach with that person, but not make wholesale changes.